Te Recuerdo

Me ha tomado 20 años para decir esto, no porque no te recordé antes, sino quizás porque me falto el valor o porque no encontré la forma de reconciliar recuerdos…y hoy después de tanto tiempo cuando la madurez ha llegado a mi vida, encuentro tu imagen congelada en el tiempo; los recuerdos llegan amontonados -uno tras otro- sin ser invitados, como viejas viñetas monocromáticas...

Reformar el rompecabezas de una vida removida no es fácil… reencontrarte en ese espacio del tiempo y la memoria provoca nudos en la garganta. Hoy arde porque las memorias que quisieron quedarse guardadas en el lugar seguro de mí subconsciente han sido forzadas a despertar al saber que el mundo sigue su rumbo y tú no estás…que eres una historia, una consecuencia de la circunstancias, que falta la justicia y que el mundo no te conoce, solo conoce tu nombre y lo que se convirtió…

¿Cómo recordar que nos conocimos antes, en otro espacio donde compartimos por muchos años: suelo, tiempo, risas, secretos y anhelos…? Donde las puertas de mi casa y la tuya giraban como una. Cuantas veces charlamos caminando cuesta-arriba enlazadas de las manos hacia tu casa… cuantas tardes miramos al firmamento queriendo apresurar el tiempo hasta que un día nuestras vidas tornaron hallándonos algo incomodas; no diciendo todo lo que queríamos decir... diferentes bajo la sombra de la juventud… mi vida estaba por cambiar y la tuya sin imaginar que aquel sería el último “nos vemos”.

Hoy leí que tenias novio y que planeabas casarte pronto… me duele más recordarte mientras tus ilusiones se quedaron perdidas y yo, sueño…por eso hoy bajo la sombra del tiempo, te recuerdo, con el cariño compartido de aquel tiempo donde ni tú, ni yo imaginaríamos que la vida puede girar en un momento…que uno crece y cambia, que el amor es difícil de olvidar aunque las memorias sean suprimidas… en el espacio secreto que guarda la mente y dentro de mi corazón: Te recuerdo, mi dulce amiga.

[En memoria a mi amiga de la infancia quien fallecio tragicamente hace 20 años; tu luz perdura! Y recordando a la Abuelita Ester, quien hoy cumple 3.]

Mamá Tey

When she was 6 her mother passed away so her abuela Margarita took care of her. When she became a teenager she went to work for her godmother in San Salvador. She returned to Los Troncones, Panchimalco at the age of 16 to live with abuela Margarita. There she met Juan and they decided to run away together. After a week Juan's mother, Sñra. Sabina and her husband Sr. Ramon asked Juan to return home and told him to leave the cipota alone but if she was pregnant he had to do the right thing and marry her. Three months later it turned out she was pregnant. When she had their first child, Isaura Sñra. Sabina came to meet the baby and to make sure she was the daughter of her son Juan. She carefully looked at the baby and finally gave them her blessing. They married the day they baptized the baby. They started their lives together and went on to have 16 children.

Carmen

What say to a sister that has taken care of you since the moment you arrived to this world?

I honor your beauty, kindness, patience, love and the natural instinct to take care of us. You stand tall and proud during trying times. Your dreams grow like an unborn child that will soon come to this world and take us all in the journey to humbleness. I celebrate you sister! I celebrate your gifts and your strength. Las abuelas are protecting and guiding you.

Sentirse Libre

Para bailar asi tenés que enamorarte de tu cuerpo(no vanidad)... sentirte libre de prejuicios, de tapujos, experimentar movientos con tu cuerpo y gustarte vos misma.

~Irma R. Uribe~
Fotografía - Ana Silvia Castro

Trenza de amor

A Brother

I remember being five and the loud desperate cries of my five-month brother as they echo through the hallway calling my name. I would stand by his crib singing sweet lullabies, Duermete mi niño. His crib squeaking as it rocked side to side. I remember his soft skin as I held his tight fist. I usually sat in the dark waiting for his big brown eyes to say good night. I remember the taste of breast milk on my lips after kissing his forehead. Sometimes I would fall asleep by his blue crib and my mother would have to walk me back to my room and tuck me in. I was not a baby anymore I would tell her so she wouldn't have to stay by my side. I remember being five and proud to be a big sister.

Mangos

When life gives you lemons exchange them for mangos...

La Abuela

Not being able to walk changed my life. I spend most of my days sitting on my wheelchair longing for the days when I was able to go anywhere I wanted. I used to enjoy working on my garden and shopping at the market. The market was a place where I could get lost for hours trying to find the best prices and the most delicious fruits. I loved the sweet smells of the papaya, mango and watermelon and even though sometimes my shopping bag was full I would still purchase more than I could carry.

Did I tell you I was a seamstress? I used to make dresses for the young women in my town. They used to come to my house with the most colorful fabrics they could find and asked me to do the latest designs. Nowadays jeans and t-shirts are the latest trend, I really don't know why girls like to dress like boys! Because the years robbed me of most of my sight I don’t have the pleasure to sew anymore.

God has given me ten wonderful children and 54 grandchildren. One of my favorite things to do was to have family reunions. Being old and unable to do much I made it my mission to keep my family close, and serve as a thread of love that binds this family together. It will be the last piece I get to sew in this life.

Pan Dulce

When I was growing up in El Salvador I used to love going to pastrie shops with my mother and buying pan dulce(pastries) that later we would enjoy eating with a cup of hot chocolate. This blog is all about the things that make life feel like pan dulce.